


Memories

by shymin



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2561549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shymin/pseuds/shymin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tanned fingers gripped ash-grey hair, and a tear-streaked face pressed shaky lips to too-warm skin. A lake of blood, and a head pulled from its body. It was almost as if he could see something that hadn’t happened. Another life, perhaps. </p><p>Sometimes, memories hurt more than not remembering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for angst, angst, and more angst. That is all.

A young boy awoke in a hospital room.

His brown eyes opened, blinking once; taking in the vomit-coloured walls and IV tubes, everything gray, gray, gray; no light.

The boy shut his eyes.

He could feel a ghost; cold plastic wrapped around his neck but it wasn’t there, it wasn’t there but the memories were; memories of red eyes and red blood and red staining the walls and his clothing and too much red.

His eyes felt hot. They stung.

He knew what was coming, and he tried to reach up and cover his ears so he wouldn’t hear them, hear _him_ , but the drugs held a weight on his arms almost as bad as that of that dreaded collar and _oh how it hurt_.

_Don’t leave me._

His body stiffened and his head began to throb.

_Don’t leave me alone._

It was his own voice. Again and again, no matter how much he’d said it, no matter who he’d said it to, it never came true. Except...

_I won’t. I promise._

He gasped; squirming as the memories came bubbling to the surface like boiling water; always burning, burning him. A smile, one that begged for trust as much as it gave. A spotlight.

_I promise to bring you happiness._

The boy choked out a sob, remembering a piano and a courtyard and lying under the stars. He had been happy that night, disgustingly happy. _How could you_ , the boy pleaded desperately, _how could you say that to me, like we ever had a chance?_

Tears spilled down his face; sneaking past his eyelids and taking their course down to the white sheets at his chest.

He remembered Asuka; lifeless eyes staring through him from a hospital bed much like his own. He remembered seeing her again, afterwards, her hating him for a reason he hadn’t even known at the time.

_Don’t leave me alone._

He remembered Ayanami too; could see her blank face branded against the back of his eyelids. She never had read those books he’d given her, had she? He wasn’t even sure whether or not she was alive.

_Don’t leave me alone!_

Finally, he saw Kaworu; beautiful pale skin and red eyes that glowed like the sun. He could still hear the music if he listened closely, could still smell the blood inside the Evangelion, so incredible and ugly all at once.

_Don’t leave me alone. I need you._

He’d screamed at Kaworu and blamed him for everything, but he’d loved him, he loved him so much it hurt and he missed him so much.

_I know. I won’t._

The flashbacks were a recurring scream deep in his mind, and he could see it.

Tanned fingers gripped ash-grey hair, and a tear-streaked face pressed shaky lips to too-warm skin. A lake of blood, and a head pulled from its body. It was almost as if he could see something that hadn’t happened. Another life, perhaps.

_Don’t leave me alone. Please, don’t me leave alone._

The boy in the hospital room opened his eyes. He hated the world. He hated the world because the one person he loved more than anything else wasn’t in it.

_You left me._


End file.
